Kill the Gargoyles and Don’t Trip Over Fido: Aging in Place on Capitol Hill

The other day I was lunching at the Tune Inn with architect Judith Capen, to discuss aging in place, which has become rather a buzzword. Her home has been tweaked and gussied as architects will do, more open than ours, but still sharing many of the difficulties, and she always has…thoughts.

Wandering home along Pennsylvania Avenue we bumped into Nicky Cymrot, who has her fingers into everything around here, and a friend of hers whose name I have mentally misplaced, as I unfortunately do more and more often. She had on a fabulous fur jacket; I contemplated mugging her.

What are you up to, Nicky asked. We were discussing aging in place on Capitol Hill, I said. And we all babbled and tsked at each other for several minutes about the challenges older people face in our narrow, stair-plagued, homes. Failing to notice that none of us will see 75 again.

Older people, you know. Not us.

Let’s look at those stairs for a minute. Mine, since they’re handy.

My husband Greg and I live in a typical unrenovated row house with stairs to the front door, stairs to the garden, stairs to the basement, and stairs to the second-floor bedrooms.

There are no steps to the attic. For that we climb into an overloaded closet and up the shelves to push back a hatch to retrieve the holiday ornaments and whatnots. Oh, and the air conditioner apparatus is on the roof, reached through another hatch, in the ceiling of the second-floor porch. A ladder is required to change the filter. I do not do this but appreciate the effort of my spouse.

I imagine we all know someone that came to a tragic, even grisly, end on one or another staircase, which is why AARP’s Smart Guide to Aging in Place suggests living on one level, if possible.

On the other hand, if you still have balance, stairs are excellent exercise. There are people who pay gym memberships to climb them, while you have a free Stairmaster.

There are, in fact, many guides like AARP’s, with practical suggestions for modifying your home that are not too depressing. You should probably read them. The Capitol Hill Village also has resources including companies that will help you design a more accommodating kitchen or bath. The DC Department of Aging has a Safe at Home program for adaptive features for those over 60 or with disabilities. They say, “this may include handrails, grab bars, bathtub cuts, shower seats, and stair lifts.”

There are issues peculiar to The Hill, says Judith, particularly if you’re in the Historic District, where you run into issues of esthetics, an extra layer of hoops and permissions. But anywhere that modifications are needed – interior or exterior- permits must be obtained, which drive up the cost but will keep you safe. A chair rail that can’t support your weight? Oops, there goes the hip. And, as we’ve all been warned, there goes you.

Ten Tips for Making Your Capitol Hill Home Safer

1. Exterior steps.  Not only are ramps unsightly, but the slope must also be gentle enough that you can roll or walker yourself up or be pushed up without difficulty. To get a proper pitch, that would mean, Judith points out, starting it in the middle of the street. Once you’re permanently in a wheel chair, you’ll need more than a ramp to get in and around the house. If it’s short term, you could rent a chair lift. Or, just haul yourself up the stairs and have someone carry the chair. Good exercise!

2. For interior steps, secure railings are essential. If, like most of us, you only have a single railing, have another installed on the blank wall. Make sure it’s solid and professionally done so you don’t take it down if you stumble. Stair lifts can also be installed and removed without doing permanent damage to your home.

3. I love a good bubbly wallow in my clawfoot tub, but it’s become increasingly difficult to get into and out of. You could remove the tub and install a shower, which is expensive, and in my case, really sad. Or get a rubber tub mat and install sturdy grab bars. Elsewhere in the bath, toilet seats are easily modified, a higher seat makes lowering yourself and getting up again easier, though a lower seat does work those quads.

4. If you do not have a powder room on the main level, it might be worth the expense to figure out how to install one. If you’re space challenged, Acorn makes a sink with an integrated toilet that would fit in a closet. They also make them for prison cells so you know they’re fine in small spaces and should last a lifetime.

5. When attempting to see where you’re going, good lighting is helpful, and our homes are often short on natural light. Judith suggests using the brightest bulbs possible – though I’ll warn that bright light overhead can be very cruel to a face past its prime.  On the other hand, it’s useful in the bathroom, over the sink, for women getting at those little chin hairs and finding your lips so you can line them, and for men, shaving without cutting your throat.

Unless you’re sorting your jewels or maybe spring cleaning, strong lighting is generally not necessary in the bedroom, particularly if you still have a companion. You want to read in bed? That is why god created the Kindle Paperwhite, though I hate promoting anything Bezos.

6. Speaking of the bedroom. Make sure you can get in and out of bed easily. I am very fond of my Princess and the Pea mattress which is at Victorian height above the floor, but I confess it’s getting a little old. There have been nights when I have to drag myself up by my fingernails, which is neither easy nor seductive.

7. There are more ways to break your neck than stairs. Area rugs, for example. Perhaps you’ve met someone that’s skidded or tripped over one? Not necessarily a killer, but possibly a bone breaker. Clutter too. Do your kids a favor and get rid of stuff unless you’re the passive aggressive sort that lets them handle it after you’ve tripped over the cast iron gargoyle by the front door and landed in hospice. I cannot part with my gargoyle.

8. Dogs can be excellent for your health, or another hazard. Fido must be big enough to see without glasses (no more mini-poos) but not so large and energetic that you’re dragged down the block. A greyhound would be a poor choice.

9. Need the air conditioning filter changed, the gutters cleaned, the mattress flipped, the wisteria trimmed, the wine cellar restocked? Get over the macho stuff guys, hire a pro, or ask a neighbor or your kids for help. The city claims they’ll send someone to shovel your snow. Next time it snows, let us know how that goes. 

10. You don’t have to be a Hill dweller to appreciate a smart watch or medallion that can call 911 or an emergency contact if you fall. Just remember to wear it.

If it doesn’t make your skin crawl, consider a robot. ElliQ was recently written about in the New York Times. She sits on a table and learns to communicate like a new friend, learning all about you, reminding you of appointments, turning on the TV, playing scrabble, even writing your memoir if you wish. Produced by Intuition Robotics, is still being tested, but is being distributed by state health departments and non-profits that deal with the elderly…

But that’s not you, is it? It still ain‘t me, babe.

https://www.hillrag.com/2026/03/09/kill-the-gargoyles-and-dont-trip-over-fido/

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